The Importance of Mourning a Death

Coping mechanism for death that are essential to overcome grief

When we think about the future, we start thinking about the life ahead of us—what type of house we want to live, our future family, and the kind of lifestyle we’ll live. Yet no one ever thinks about death.

Sorrow and grief come after death, which are the least favorite emotions people feel. We want to live happily, but without grief or sadness, we won’t realize the true meaning of happiness. Death has a different impact on different situations. The psychological effects of death of a child may be different from the psychological effects of death of a parent.

The coping mechanism of a child toward his or her parents’ death may vary in different ways, considering the child’s age. Grade school–age kids may express their grief in anger, as well as detaching themselves emotionally, which can help them immediately deal with the loss. Some may even ask questions because they can’t comprehend what’s happening.

On the other hand, adolescents understand the meaning of death. Some deal with pain through separating themselves from the family and dealing it on their own. And some also deal with grief in unhealthy ways, just like taking narcotics or alcohol. Either of these can affect some children for a long time. However, some deal with their grief in a positive way. It differs, depending on the child’s ability to cope.

One type of grief is when a parent loses a child. Normally, parents want to see their children grow up and live beyond their years, not the other way around. The way parents cope with this death depends on the situation. When the child dies through suicide, accidents, or murders; parents will have a harder time processing the death. Some go overboard and becomes obsessed with the case. If the child was terminally ill, the parent still has time to process losing their child and experience anticipatory grief (a grief that occurs before the loss).

Each loss has a different effect on everyone, whether a parent losing their child or children losing their parents. And the best coping mechanism for death or loss is looking for someone to talk to. Look for a support group where you can vent out emotions so you can understand what you are feeling. It also helps when you divert your attention to other hobbies. Engage yourselves in writing, dancing, or things where you can express those heightened emotions. Each grief is unique, and each one of us should be patient when undergoing the process.

We all hate dying or losing someone important in our lives, but death is what makes life beautiful. It reminds us that every cycle begins and ends. No one can escape the reality of death, and the best way we can deal with this is by living our lives to the fullest and always making every second count.


Grab a copy of Stanley Yokell’s book Old People and join him as he explores the many facets of growing old. I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts. Share them on the comment section below or through Facebook, Twitter and Goodreads.


MySahana. 2012. “Eight Healthy Coping Tips To Manage Grief.” Posted April 16. Accessed January 18, 2018.

Smith, Melinda, MA. Lawrence, Robinson. Jeanne Segal, PhD. 2017. “Coping with Grief and Loss.” Accessed January 19, 2018.

All Psychology Careers. 2018. “Loss of a Child.” Accessed January 19, 2018.

Miller, Ashley. 2017. “Psychological Effects of Parental Death.”, June 13. Accessed January 19, 2018.



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Stanley Yokell

Stanley Yokell

A retired P.E.and consulting engineer, Stanley Yokell is a Fellow of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers. Stanley spends his time taking cons . . .

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